Keep it simple, stupid

My contribution to our picnic in the park was egg salad.  I was to bring the egg salad and good bread to put it on.  After Sheila asked me to bring it, she did a little double-check to make sure my egg salad recipe was acceptable.  I would have done the same.

Egg salad (potato salad, too) falls into this weird category in the food world.  Most people love egg salad, but they are very picky about what should and shouldn't be in it.  I'm no different.  It has to taste a certain way or it isn't really egg salad.  You don't want too much mayo, or it's just a gloopy mess.  But, you have to have enough to hold it together.

The list things that should not be in egg salad is long. Sweet pickle relish tops the list, closely followed by cheese, celery, onion, and olives. I could go on, but space is limited.

Thankfully, most of my picnicking friends and I agree on what egg salad should taste like.  I've tried it with a bunch of different 'extras' in there.  But my Auntie Faith's motto holds true for egg salad just as well as most other topics..."Keep it simple, stupid!"

So, without further ado, here's my recipe for egg salad.  Hope you like it.

Egg Salad

INGREDIENTS

1	doz boiled eggs*
	Salt
	Pepper
3-4	t chopped fresh dill
2-4	T mayonnaise (it has to be Best Foods)

Directions

1.     Peel boiled eggs and cut into small dice.  Place in a large mixing bowl.

2.     Season with salt and pepper, to taste.

3.     Add fresh dill.  Toss gently together.

4.     Add mayonnaise and mix well.

5.     Serve on study bread (like OroWheat’s Honey Wheatberry) with lettuce (if desired).

*A perfectly boiled egg is another topic altogether, but I'll include it here because it is one of the most important things to get 'right' when making egg salad.  It's a delicate balance between 'not quite done' and that gray-green ring around the yolk.  This is the way I make a perfectly boiled egg on my electric stove.  If you have a gas stove, this timing will not work.  Just experiment one egg at a time, you'll figure it out.  And maybe you can post your findings as a comment below.

Perfectly boiled eggs are no accident.  Start with a shallow pan (single-layer egg height) filled with cold water.  Add cold eggs until you can't fit anymore in.  If you need more eggs than that for your recipe, just do this more times or change to a larger (but not deeper) pan.  Place pan on a cold burner.  Turn burner on medium heat and let come to a boil. As soon as it boils (this is easier to detect if you have pans with whistling lids like I do), turn the burner off and set a timer for 10½ minutes. When timer goes off, pour off the hot water and fill pan with cold water. Wait about 30 seconds and repeat until water stays cold. Peel eggs right after cooling them. This is when they peel easiest.

It’s bread, trust me

I like having a vegetable garden.  I do not like preparing the garden ground.  I do not like planting the garden.  I do not like waiting for the seeds to sprout.  I do not like thinning the plants.  I do not like weeding the garden.  I do not like watering the garden.  I do not like plucking the slugs out of the garden.  But, I do like ‘having’ a garden.  It’s very satisfying to wander out there and pick beautiful produce just before I start preparing dinner.

Early on in my marriage (back when I could convince my husband with a few bats of my eyelashes that he loved me enough to make me a garden) we had a good looking garden.  He bought wood and built raised beds.  He rototilled the earth.  He brought in bags of steer manure (can anyone tell me what’s inferior about cow manure?...just asking) and spread it over the freshly turned dirt.  He rototilled it again.  He decided it needed peat moss.  He rototilled it again.  He bought seed packets (off my list).  He planted the seeds.  He carefully marked the rows in each bed with the empty seed packets.  He watered.  He waited.  He plucked the slugs.  It was a gorgeous garden!

There was only one problem.  I’m still not sure how this happened.  One day we had this beautiful vegetable garden and the next day we had a truckload of zucchini each one the size of a small boat!

My mother used to say that one zucchini plant in a garden was a half a plant too many.  I never understood what she meant until that year.  Oh, she was so right!  Suddenly, we were eating zucchini at every meal.  I was scouring my recipe collection and cookbooks for new zucchini recipes.  We ate zucchini omelettes for breakfast, zucchini patties for lunch, and stuffed zucchini for dinner.  I couldn’t think of enough ways to use it all up.

On my infrequent trips to the market for other items, I would see zucchini for sale in the produce section and I was appalled to see what they were charging for them.  I was often tempted to check the parking lot for unlocked cars so I could sneak my extras in someone’s back seat while they were shopping.  Shoot, on my most desperate days, I would have happily paid people to take zucchini home.

I decided to freeze zucchini.  The shredding and bagging and sealing began.  Then the freezer got full.  The zucchini was piling up in my kitchen.  And, my husband just kept bringing them in.  Things were getting ugly.  Then one day, when I was complaining about my bumper crop at work, a friend said the magic words “Zucchini Bread”.

And that’s how I ended up with five zucchini bread recipes.  I sat down and started calling all my girlfriends.  Each one had one and they were all pretty much the same, with slight variations.  However, I should have known something was up when I called Mary, and she started snickering.  She started down the list of ingredients with me transcribing as fast as I could.  Every couple of seconds, she’d giggle again.  Having no idea why, I just kept writing.  I did my first double-take when she said the words ‘cocoa powder’.

Me:  “Mary, I want your zucchini bread recipe, not cake.”

Mary:  “It is zucchini bread.” (still tittering)

Me:  “Are you sure?”

Mary:  “Yes.  It’s bread, trust me.”

We continued with the recipe.  My second double-take came after the words ‘chocolate chips’.

Me:  “Mary, seriously, I want your zucchini bread recipe.  I don’t want a cake recipe.”

Mary:  “This is my zucchini bread recipe.”  (steady chuckling, now)

Me:  “Really?”

Mary:  “Yes.  It’s bread, trust me.”

By the time she uttered the words ‘pour into a prepared 9”x13” pan’, I knew it was hopeless.  But I tried one last time.

Me:  “Mary, this can’t be zucchini bread if it goes in a 9x13.”

Mary:   “Londa, it’s bread, trust me.  My recipe card says ‘bread’ and you can’t make me change my mind.”  (dead serious)

Me: “Okay, then. Bread it is.”

I’ve made this zucchini “bread” recipe many times in the intervening years since that phone conversation.  It has become my favorite zucchini “bread” recipe.  Who knows, it might become your favorite zucchini “bread” recipe, too.

Mary’s Zucchini “Bread”

INGREDIENTS

½	cup butter
½	cup oil
1¾	cup sugar
2	eggs
1	t vanilla
½	cup sour milk*
2½	cups all-purpose flour
4	T cocoa powder
½	t baking powder
1	t soda
½	t salt
½	t cinnamon
½	t cloves
½	t nutmeg
2	cups shredded zucchini
1	small pkg semi-sweet chocolate chips

Directions 

1.     In the bowl of a large mixer, stir together butter, oil, sugar, eggs, vanilla, and sour milk.  Beat on med-low speed for two minutes.  In a separate bowl, mix together dry ingredients.

2.     Slow down mixer speed to low.  A bit at a time add dry ingredients to wet ingredients.

3.     Add zucchini.  Mix just enough to blend into batter.

4.     Pour into a prepared 9”x13” pan.  Top with chocolate chips.

5.     Bake in a 325°F oven for 45 minutes.